hotfudgedetroit.com

If you're jonesin' for a fried fish and chicken joint, you are in luck.

The Suburban Avenger wrote:

Sterile Whites 48313 wrote:No other city can top Detroit's selection of loose cigarettes.

Not to mention its wide array of flavored cigars.

i believe you mean flavored cigar wraps.

Megatron wrote:

The Suburban Avenger wrote:

Sterile Whites 48313 wrote:No other city can top Detroit's selection of loose cigarettes.

Not to mention its wide array of flavored cigars.

i believe you mean flavored cigar wraps.

aka "Blunt Wraps"...nothing beats a hint of grape behind that "Ditch Weed"...

Finished reading Detroit Rock City, a narrative made up of quotes from figures in the local music scene from the 60s to the present. One person remarks that the occasional car theft and random ATM mugging are small prices to pay for living in a city where nobody gives a shit what you do. The final quote, from Cobras singer Rachel Nagy, has her talking about driving through Ohio and seeing the relatively functional cities of Cleveland and Toledo: "I don't really know if I want to see that happen in Detroit. Detroit is Detroit. It's this beautiful place where you can sacrifice your safety for a shitload of freedom."

I took my son to the Masonic Temple Saturday night, his band was playing between heats at the Roller Derby. We had to get there quite early, which was fine. I parked in the lot directly across from Masonic, looked around to pay someone, no body around at all. I figured I'd come back out in a little bit, check, and pay them. I'm not a deadbeat, and I know that parking in the city costs money. I did my roadie bit, and was waiting for the gig to start when a security type guy came up and asked "anyone here own a silver minivan in the lot across the street"? I answered in the affirmative, and he said "you better get down there, they are thinking of towing it"
I hightailed it downstairs, the parking lot attendants, all of whom had the proper city ID said "Man, we don't want to tow it if we don't have to" , I paid and all was well. The cooperation between the parking lot dudes and the security at Masonic was refreshing, and I didn't have to get my car out of a tow yard.

That's something nice that happened in Detroit.

So last night was a big night for Detroit on the stage of national television. First up was CNN, on a program called "This is Life" with Lisa Ling. One full hour was spent chronicling the Satanic Temple, and how a group of societal misfits have found a home in our vacuum of abandonment after being chased out of every big city east of the Mississippi. It started with a visit to the dark bedroom of one of the members, donning an Adolph Hitler haircut, and his display of religious statues like the Virgin Mary. "Sometimes I like to cover her face with blood", he said, as red syrup from a spray bottle dripped off. Countless Catholics worldwide no doubt quickly turned the channel in disgust.

The group portrayed themselves as guardians of knowledge and freedom who have become integral partners in the re-building of Detroit. The story took a bizarre turn with a segment about how suburban Detroit 'crisis pregnancy centers' tell pregnant women that abortions cause breast cancer, and it's the job of the Satanic Temple to make sure women with unwanted babies in their wombs know these clinics are fronts for pro-lifers. Predictably, they also had to show indignant intolerants behind bullhorns decrying any belief other than their chosen denomination, giving the devil worshippers ample ammo of persecution. Then the goat statue got unveiled in an abandoned warehouse amidst a bacchanal of adoring tattooed she-devils and random freakazoids, showing the world that a Detroit party don't stop because a Detroit party never stops. All in all, it wasn't a moment of pride for the city, at least in my opinion.

The next show was "Bar Rescue" on SpikeTV, where bar rescuer John Taffer took on Chix on Dix, his first strip club ever. One of his consultants, the head of exotic entertainment at Sapphire Lounge in Las Vegas, commented how she found the name offensive (Chicks on Dicks?), something I had never thought of despite having driven by the place 10,000 times. Sometimes it's funny to hear stranger's perceptions of our cultural landmarks, isn't it?

The show was typical to the script, in that Taffer runs in and tells everyone how they suck at their jobs and finds the kitchen full of muddy grease and dead mice. Then they train the staff on how to make fancy drinks and cook good bar vittles. The 'entertainment talent' was a central feature of this episode, everything from drunk stripers stumbling about to dancers with bad attitudes. Whenever one poor dancer smiled or spoke, it was obvious that she was missing half of her teeth, not every other tooth but on one side of her mouth- like Rhonda Rousey after that kick to the head a couple weeks ago, if not for the oral surgery. The other dancers? Well, let's just say they did not accurately depict the top tier quality of metro-Detroit strippers in general- no surprise to anyone who's been to the Hustler Club or the Landing Strip- but for the uninformed, they represented the city's exotic entertainment talent on an international scale.

Can we all agree that despite the current renaissance of the city, and despite the occasional glimpses that display our better attributes such as the Ransom Gillis house on House Rehab, that the media still comes here when they want to show the sordid and the obscene? Just saying.

Cross to Detroit Rises!, HFD Gross, and HFD Embarassments.

^ trainwrecks make good TV. Detroit' brand IS trainwreck, so natural that writers and producers look to Detroit for material or just a convenient backdrop for their next hour of sensationalist bullshit.