hotfudgedetroit.com

by **guest** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:23 pm

I'm suing the city because they don't have a dogcatcher. I'm calling Sam. Seriously, Sam Bernstein, I'm calling him.

by **susanarosa** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:29 pm

guest wrote:
I'm suing the city because they don't have a dogcatcher. I'm calling Sam. Seriously, Sam Bernstein, I'm calling him.

Nasty dog bite eh?

I have a friend who does the intake stuff at Beaumont. Dang, the stories he tells.

by **Ffdfd** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:10 pm

You want me to go over there and corrupt that young man? What do you think, he works for the city of Detroit?

Location: barber shop in West Bloomfield
Situation: young man washing windows next door; head barber (assumed proprietor) asks woman (assumed co-proprietor) to see if he'll do their windows too; woman says she's asked him twice and is told requests have to go through his boss; head barber suggests she offer young man $20 cash and keep his boss out of it

by **chad sexington** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 5:49 pm

Hey Dye...you're a big faggot!!

Section 113 at Comerica Park on Saturday.

by **davecat** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:23 pm

So I said, "Hell no, Bitch. Hell fuckin' no. Motherfuckin' no."

-As spoken into a bluetooth in the checkout line at the Spartan Store on Warren.

by **Putski** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:34 pm

Overheard 2 weeks ago:

Hell yeah it's going to be a great season. I upped my ticket package.

Overheard Yesterday:

I dunno. It's supposed to be in the 40's Saturday. If it is I'll probably skip it.

Tigers "fan" coworker who looks to be a candidate for a bandwagon hopping injury in the near future.

by **Detroit Riseling** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:13 pm

Loud man on cell phone at the Fox Creek Station (aka Conner) post office:

He told me it was in stock. Fucking slap him if you have to.

and-
Three young women and an older one, somebody's mom?, at the Irish Coffee on Mack in Grosse Pointe Farms:

How was France?

France was kewl.

I love France.

They have this thing made out of wire with wire things on it and it spins around.

by **susanarosa** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:46 pm

Overheard last Saturday night at National Coney Island in Royal Oak around midnight.

Picture two kids out of Malibu's Most Wanted, but they were serious.

You didn't tell me you fucked her.

Yeah, she sucked my dick.

You have to tell me these things before I fuck her.

by **Heywood McCrakin** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 2:11 am

"i give up"

corey

by **frank - up in grand blanc** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 6:10 am

Off-hand lazy Friday afternoon conversation with one of the Agency Account/sales guys (commenting on a colleague's poor skills):

She couldn't sell mouthwash at a cocksuckers' convention

by **Mud Bug** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 2:36 pm

I'm an outdoorsman and know this stuff. What you see here is what happens when a high front meets a low front. Those dark clouds are the low front.

Old guy with big belly and trucker cap explaining the science behind last night's downpour to no one in particular at MGM Grand valet parking on April 11, 2008 at 8:33 pm.

by **guest** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:04 pm

Pudgy schlub in a baseball cap at Avalon Bakery:

I want something really unhealthy that my fiancee will get mad at me for eating.

Excuse me?

I want something really unhealthy that my fiancee will get mad at me for eating.

Okay, so it's a pretty unremarkable conversation except for I think the schlub was E Hemingway. Someone pointed him out in a bar one night. I'm pretty sure it was him. Who else would say something that douchey, and then repeat it when asked?

[Hemingway, dude, nobody was impressed by your mention of your fiancee, nobody laughed, and odds are the Avalon counter worker is a lesbian anyway so you can put away that fantasy about scoring with her by using a witty line.]

by **Mulligan** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:42 pm

guest wrote:Pudgy schlub in a baseball cap at Avalon Bakery:

I want something really unhealthy that my fiancee will get mad at me for eating.

Excuse me?

I want something really unhealthy that my fiancee will get mad at me for eating.

Okay, so it's a pretty unremarkable conversation except for I think the schlub was E Hemingway. Someone pointed him out in a bar one night. I'm pretty sure it was him. Who else would say something that douchey, and then repeat it when asked?

[Hemingway, dude, nobody was impressed by your mention of your fiancee, nobody laughed, and odds are the Avalon counter worker is a lesbian anyway so you can put away that fantasy about scoring with her by using a witty line.]

When was the last time he spoke a sentence that didn't mention his fiance? Does his megaphone accompany him on such mundance tasks as pastry shopping?

by **jmy** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:46 pm

I often feel sorry for the crap retail clerks have to sort through. She wanted him to say, "Pecan roll," and then step the fuck out of her way.

I may banter a bit but it'll never hold up a line.

At that new market yesterday some woman was talking and talking and talking about how much she loves Detroit to the poor guy at the pastry counter. He could give a fuck, I'm sure, and I bet she didn't buy anything.

by **guest** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:55 pm

jmy wrote:

I may banter a bit but it'll never hold up a line.

Don't get me started on the old fucker in a MICHIGAN sweatshirt who insisted on paying by check at Lowe's this morning. All I wanted was a switch plate that cost about two bucks but I had to stand there for ten minutes getting pissed at him and wondering who the fuck writes checks at a store anymore.

As for Hemingway, an interaction with a normal person would have gone like this:

I want something really unhealthy that my fiancee will get mad at me for eating.

Excuse me?

Uh, sorry. One of those cookies, please.

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